


Ghost

by ElectricSkelly



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Adora is going through it, Alpha Adora (She-Ra), Alpha Bow (She-Ra), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Beta Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra just wants to help, Catra/Lonnie (She-Ra) - Freeform, Depression, Eating Disorders, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Glimmer and Bow want to help, Insecurity, Jealous Adora (She-Ra), Minor Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Oblivious Catra (She-Ra), Omega Catra (She-Ra), Shy Adora (She-Ra), Slow Burn, supportive Catra
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25594123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectricSkelly/pseuds/ElectricSkelly
Summary: A mask of happiness is often hard to keep up. That's not to say that Adora isn't happy. Because she is. Or at least that's what everyone around her believes. She's just trying to hang on to some sort of string to keep her afloat for a little while longer. But there's only so long until her string snaps.Updates: on hiatus
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 138





	1. I tried it once again and I think I might black out.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spopuhaul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spopuhaul/gifts).



> Hi! everyone! I hope you're doing well. I'm going to preface this by saying that this story is going to be VERY triggering at times, and covers some pretty dark subjects. If anything listed in the tags may trigger you, please don't read the story. That being said, I will also put trigger warnings at the start of chapters when needed. Please stay safe, healthy, and remember that you are loved.
> 
> Now, let the story begin. 
> 
> Song and Title: Ghost by Badflower
> 
> \-------------------------------

Adora sighs as she swirls her coffee around gently in her mug. The sound of Catra snoring softly in the other room makes the corners of her mouth twitch a little, slightly brightening up her gloomy mood. She didn't intend to be up at 4:00 in the morning, but her body really wasn't working with her today.

That's how she ended up with a splitting headache, sitting at her kitchen counter. At least she managed to get dressed for the day first, even if a white sweater and yoga pants isn’t the nicest attire.

Adora would love to sleep, she really would, but her stomach was cramping up, and her head felt as if someone was banging on it with a hammer. The coffee probably wouldn't help much, but it's all Adora can really manage to keep down.

After several hours of pathetically sipping at her coffee, and two painkillers,Adora hears Catra begin to shuffle around in her room, letting out a quiet yelp when she drops something. Her alpha perks up a little bit as the sweet distinctive scent of cinnamon and warm milk, signature to her best friend, wafts into the living room.

Catra is one of the few omegas that own their natural scent. She decided long before the two met that she wasn’t going to use scent blockers, because she wanted to be treated equally, scent blockers or not.

Learning how to gain respect from alphas (especially those who are... _old fashioned_ let’s say) took some time, but Catra definitely knows how to stick up for herself, and show that she’s just as worthy as respect as anyone else. It’s something that Adora really admires her for. It’s also why Catra is often confused for an alpha, even with her scent.

A low purring begins in her chest and Adora wills it to stop, embarrassed. The door creaks loudly and Catra emerges a few moments later, her hair wild on her head. The shorter girl rubs her eyes sleepily, and shoots Adora small smile.

" _Hey, Adora._ " She pads over to the blonde and sniffs the air quietly before taking a sip of Adora's coffee. A grimace appears on her face and she narrows her eyes in disgust, "Ew. What is this, piss water?"

Adora rolls her eyes, downing the last of her now cold coffee. "Can't be any worse than your stupid tea."

Catra scoffs from her place at the tea kettle, leaning against the counter to face Adora. "Yeah yeah, say whatever you want, but nothing beats a good cup of Yorkshire tea. You wouldn't get it."

Adora simply hums , resting her head in her arms on top of the counter. She shuts her eyes and listens to the soft sound of Catra's whistling. Soon enough, the sharp ring of the kettle rips her out of her reverie and she tenses up, covering her ears with her hands.

"Sorry, boo." Catra mumbles quietly, sensing Adora's distress. After Catra finishes mucking around with her tea, she sits down on the counter gracefully, and sends Adora an expectant look, swinging her legs a little.

Adora raises her head slightly, her bangs covering most of her face, and shoots the same look back at Catra through her fingers. "What?"

Catra stares at her for a little while longer before smirking. "Did you get hammered last night without inviting me?" Her friend pulls her sock clad feet on top of the counter and crosses her legs, tucking her head into the palms of her hands. “Don’t you know that _the party don’t start till I walk in?_ ”

Adora blinks at Catra a few times, clearly not amused with her antics. "Catra, you know that my scent changes when I'm hungover. 'M just tired and have a headache is all. Didn't sleep well last night."

Her friend's expression immediately softens. "Since when have you been up?"

"I never fell asleep...."

Catra looks at Adora blankly for a moment before something sparks behind her eyes. Jumping down from the ledge, she walks toward the fridge and rummages around a little before pulling out a tray of eggs.

"How about, I make you breakfast, and you get back in bed? I'll bring it for you, kay?"

 _Wonderful_. Adora mutters internally. Like she didn't have better things to worry about than breakfast. She appreciates the sentiment she really does, but right now she just wants to be left alone.

"Sounds good Catra." she responds stiffly, getting up to head toward her room. Her head spins and black spots fill her vision causing her to cringe internally. Thankfully, her alpha side makes it much easier to handle stuff like this.

With a gentle nudge to Catra's side, she adds, "Can you wash my mug for me?"

Catra nodded quickly before turning back to tend to her food.

Catra and Adora met in their freshman year of university. They became quick friends, and it was hard for Adora to try to keep herself distanced from Catra. Whether it was because of Catra's sly smiles, her stupid pranks, or eventhe way she scrunches up her nose when she can't believe what Adora said.

Adora doesn't really understand why Catra wanted to stick around in the first place. Why could Catra want to be friends with the clumsy alpha that spilled coffee all over her brand new jacket? Adora has asked Catra many times, but Catra always grins and says, "It's cause I hate coffee!” Because that answer _totally_ clears up any confusion.

Quite frankly, Adora was mortified, and kept apologizing while frantically dabbing Catra's jacket with paper napkins. The reason why she spilled the coffee was honestly because she got distracted by Catra while picking up the coffee from the barista counter. She tries her best not to be weird about omegas' scents and things like that, but Catra's scent was like a punch in the face. A good one though.

From time to time, Catra teases her about it, but Adora vehemently refuses that that's the reason for their first encounter. Catra doesn't need to know she's been harboring a crush on the feisty omega for the past 3 years. It's not that important.

After laying in bed and aimlessly scrolling through Instagram for a good twenty minutes, Catra nudges open Adora's bedroom door with her hip, holding a tray with two plates stacked full of bacon and eggs, along with two steaming mugs of what Adora can only assume to be coffee and tea.

Catra sings a tune quietly and spins haphazardly in a circle, before resting the tray on Adora's nightstand. When she realizes she's succeed without spilling anything, she smirks at Adora and does jazz hands.

"A meal fit for a queen! Or well... two!" The smaller girl slinks over to the other side of Adora's bed and flops onto the empty space, resting face down on the mattress.

"Thanks, wildcat." Adora mumbles with a weak smile on her face.

Adora looks over to the plates and feels her heart soften at the smiley faces Catra created with the bacon on top of the eggs. Despite that, she also surveys the plate, handing Catra (who rolled over and is now sitting with her back against the headboard beside Adora) the one with the larger portion along with her mug of... milk?

"I thought that the milk smell was just you but..."

"Nah, I just figured milk would be a better option seeing as you-" Catra shovels a forkful of eggs in her mouth and keeps talking, "just had some coffee. And warm milk soothes the soul y’know.”

Adora cringes and chuckles a little, "Gross Catra. Manners, c'mon."

Catra just waves her fork in the air and takes a sip of milk, “I’m hungry! You can’t blame me for chowing down while it’s still warm!” She grins charmingly at Adora. “Speaking of which, aren’t you going to try my amazing cuisine? It’s five stars, I promise.” Catra stretches out the o and the s sound of the word to emphasize her statement.

The blonde glances down at her plate and sighs, beginning to cut the bacon into small pieces.

As the two eat their breakfast, they ramble on about what had to be done that day. Generally on Saturdays Adora goes to buy groceries because Catra is hungover from a party the night before, but since she’s actually somewhat coherent for once, she gets the task of picking up the essentials.

Other than that, it’s a rule of thumb for the two girls that they have to have a movie marathon with their friends Glimmer and Bow, cause university life can be stressful at times. What’s a better way to destress than with greasy food and alcohol? (Adora can think of many things but Catra cannot).

After a while of sitting in comfortable silence, Catra speaks up.

“So,” Catra says, leaning over to take a piece of Adora’s bacon. “I’ve been talking to this girl recently and... well I was wondering if she could come over for movie night?”

“I...” The taller girl feels her heart sink. She takes a small bite from her practically untouched eggs, and glances away from Catra’s direction. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Adora tries not to be the jealous type, she really does, but she can’t help it. But aside from that, movie nights are a thing solely for the self proclaimed best friend squad. They’ve never felt the need to include other people because their dynamic just works. It’s special, and Adora doesn’t feel all that comfortable with some stranger that none of them knows coming along. It doesn’t help that said strangeris Catra’s potential partner.

“Why not?” Catra raises both hands in the air exaggeratedly, making Adora flinch away from her oncoming fork. “All my favourite people are gonna be there, so it’s perfect!”

“How long have you guys been talking?” Adora’s runs a hand through her hair, pushing it to one side. “I’m asking because this seems a little... sudden is all”

Now it’s Catra’s turn to get nervous, as she puts her fork down and plays with the hem of her shirt, a blush rising on her cheeks. The fact that even thinking about the girl she met makes Catra feel submissive, causes Adora’s stomach to churn.

“I met Lonnie a few months ago at a bar. Y’know the one called Bright Moon? She’s been nothing but sweet to me, but I didn’t want to tell you too soon in case things went south. I know how protective you can get over me.”

Adora’s alpha lets out a small rumble at Catra’s words, but Adora pushes it down. Her already non-existent appetite has gotten even smaller somehow, and she shrinks in on herself.

“Honestly Catra, do whatever you want okay? If you want to invite her, fine. Be my guest. I just... I’m not hungry right now. You can have the rest of my food.” Adora puts her plate and leftover milk back on the bedside table and gets up from the bed. Dots cloud her vision but she ignores them. “I think I’m going to go for a run or something...”

Catra stares at Adora confused, with a small frown on her face as she watches her friend leave the room. What did she do wrong? Adora usually loves bacon and egg smiley faces...

Adora, on the other hand, grabs her keys and throws on a pair of slippers, hastily leaving their shared appartement.

If she ended up in the café crying into her second cup of coffee that morning, squeezing her sides to ignore the pain in her stomach and the ache in her head, Catra wasn’t there to see it.

_She didn’t even ask me what was wrong._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay loves, there’s chapter one for you! I hope you enjoyed it :) I didn’t proof read this cause I’m lazy and have work tomorrow so I have to sleep so please let me know if you find any mistakes. I’m super excited about this story because I’m writing with some concepts I’ve never written about before, so I hope you’ll decide to come on this journey with me!!! Much love, and see you in the next chapter -Angel <3


	2. they say the devil that you know is better than the devil that you don’t.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora has an interesting talk with Glimmer and Bow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that the first chapter was so well received made me very happy! I hope everyone is doing well.  
> -  
> Trigger Warning: slight mentions of throwing up.  
> Song title: Leave Me Alone by I Don't Know How But They Found Me.  
> ——————————————————-

Adora realizes fairly quickly that she won't be able to bring herself to head back to her shared flat. The thought of seeing Catra after the way she stormed out makes her sick to her stomach. All Adora can think about is how selfish it was for her to get upset with Catra over something so trivial. Why should it matter to her if Catra met an alpha, she should be happy for her friend, right?

That's how she finds herself running through the streets of New York at 8:00 in the morning like a lunatic. Ignoring the stares from the few people in the street, Adora quickly makes her way over to Glimmer and Bow's apartment. Yet another time that Adora is thankful for how close her best friends live. They've all known each other since elementary school (minus Catra), so living nearby each other was a given. It took a lot of searching to find affordable housing, and although they don't live together, a 2 minute drive isn't too bad.

Adora reaches their apartment after a 10 minute sprint, a large wave of nausea overtaking her from the intense running. She practically collapses against the main door, desperately trying to catch her breath while trying not to throw up. Her _diet_ causes her to lack a lot of nutrients, one of those being iron, so while she's not surprised, it's still something she'd rather not experience.

After regaining her composure, Adora makes her way up to the 12th floor, being sure to take the stairs. Did she just have a crisis a few minutes ago? Sure. But Adora never picks the elevator over a flight of stairs, at least not anymore.

The moment Adora opens the door to the twelfth floor, a head covered in messy purple locks shoots out from the other side. "Fuck!" the blonde yells, startled.

Glimmer falls back with a thump, landing on the blue carpeting of the apartment floor. Despite the fall she gets up unfazed, and examines Adora carefully. "What's wrong?"

Even though she's a beta, Glimmer was lucky to be blessed with a strong ability to scent since both of her parents are alphas, hence why she was able to catch on to Adora's presence.

"How did you know-"

Glimmer cuts Adora off, a hand on her hip. "You're practically scenting the whole floor with your anxiety Adora. Don't act surprised that I knew you were here. C'mon." With a firm grasp on her hand, Glimmer drags Adora into her apartment, kicking the door shut with a boot covered foot.

Just as Adora slips off her flip flops and Glimmer removes her boots, the two hear light footsteps down the hall.

"Sparkle-bear, where'd you go?" Bow calls softly, rounding the corner of the main hallway. He's clad in dark blue sweatpants slung low around his waist, and fluffy purple socks on his feet. His hair is thrown up into a messy bun, and light stubble lines his face. When he notices Adora and Glimmer in the doorway, he runs a hand over his face and frowns. "Did I miss the invite to the party or?"

Adora envies the relationship her friends have sometimes. It's the type of love she's only seen written in storybooks, that's for sure. They have fights like every normal couple do, but you can truly see they adore each other. They're so in tune with one another's emotions, and are the grossest couple she knows. The pair often joke about being soulmates, even if the concept isn't often believed in.

Adora hopes that someday someone will be able to love her the same way Bow loves Glimmer and vice versa, but she knows that she's a lot of work to love, and it definitely wouldn't be worth the hassle.

"No," Glimmer scoffs, jabbing a thumb in Adora's direction. "Of course not. Blondie over here just worked herself up over something again."

Adora slouches slightly at Glimmer's comment, feeling her eyes sting. She hates dumping all her problems on them, but who else can she really go to? Adora knows it's not fair how often she runs to Glimmer and Bow in comparison to how much they need her help (which isn't very often), and hates when Glimmer points it out. Of course the purple haired girl isn't trying to be mean, but Adora always takes it hard.

With a deep breath, she wills herself to calm down a little, silently slipping a hand into Glimmer's and squeezing. Glimmer shifts closer to Adora sensing her distress, and wraps an arm around her waist, squeezing back. Adora flinches slightly at the contact but doesn't move away.

Glimmer taps Adora's wrist twice gently, letting Adora know that she doesn't mean anything by what she said.

Bow furrows his eyebrows in concern, "Oh, see that's what I thought but I know Adora doesn't live in our building so I was ignoring it." He glances to the side quickly, "Not very well though... I was about to come find you, didn't want another alpha taking you or something."

The lavender haired girl smiles fondly at her boyfriend before looking back at Adora. "Besides that, what's wrong Adora? It's really early for you to be over here. You usually sleep in so late."

Adora hasn't slept well in weeks, but Glimmer doesn't need to know that.

Walking over to the worn down love seat, hand in hand with Glimmer, Adora flops face first onto the couch, pulling Glimmer down with her. "Catra got a girlfriend." Her voice gets lost in the thick plush of the couch, and she lets out a small whimper.

"Hey, speak up, love." Adora looks up at the sound of Bow's voice, moving to sit up properly. She rests her head on Glimmers lap and plays with the hem of her jumper.

"Catra she... I know it doesn't- well it shouldn't matter but," Adora covers her face with one of her arms. "Catra has a girlfriend. Or something like that. A partner, I guess?"

A few beats of silence pass, causing Adora to uncover her eyes and look at her friends. Glimmer and Bow are sharing a look over her head, and Bow walks over toward them to crouch in front of the love seat.

"W-what, am I- did I..." Adora trails off, anxiety gnawing on her insides along with the pain she's been so desperately trying to ignore. It seems like that's all she's been doing these days, ignoring things, pushing them back to deal with at a later time. It's not healthy but she's rather do that to cope then watch everything come crashing down.

"Adora, we already knew..." Glimmer starts quietly. Adora feels her heart sink, "Catra told us a little while ago but she didn't want us to tell you."

She didn't want them to tell her? Catra didn't want them to tell her something so important, but told Glimmer and Bow about it instead?

”How long is a little while?” Adora mumbles.

”Six months...”

Adora can't help but feel stung by the realization that maybe Catra doesn't trust her after all. She thinks back to Catra's reasoning, and scoffs, a low rumbling beginning in her chest. Of course she's going to be protective of Catra, she's her best friend! That's what Adora is supposed to do, right? That's no reason not to let her in on the fact that there's someone new in her life.

"Calm down princess it's okay-"

Adora glares at Bow, sitting up in frustration. With a loud growl, she says, "It's okay? It's okay! You guys have known for _months_ , and I don't get any _oh hey Adora, I'm dating someone and, oh yeah, she's gonna be part of movie night now!_ How is that even remotely okay Bow, how?"

Bow's gaze hardens and his mouth draws into a thin line, "Adora, I know you're upset but there's no need to take it out on me. Catra didn't tell you because she knew you'd react like this."

"React like what Bow? Like what? I'm only upset because she didn't tell me. If she had told me, I would have been a little sad because obviously I like her, but I want to support her Bow." Adora wraps an arm around her waist and squeezes at the skin there. "I thought that it was a little fast to invite her to movie night cause she just met the girl, but she's known her for ages at this point Bow! Half a year of lying straight to my face when I ask if she's met anyone. No matter how I would've reacted, I think I deserved to know."

"Blondie," Glimmer starts, "You have a right to be upset, but there's nothing you can do about it now. From what I've seen, Lonnie treats her so well. I'm sorry that we didn't tell you about it before, but Catra practically begged us not to."

Adora feels her anger deflate back into sadness, and slouches, her entire demeanour becoming vulnerable. "I'm being selfish aren't I..." Adora clutches her head, her headache coming back with a vengeance. And suddenly, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Bow's eyes widen and he practically drags Adora to the bathroom, putting Adora's hair into a sorry excuse for a ponytail. The blonde girl promptly keels over, her head in the toilet bowl, the small amount of breakfast she consumed earlier in the day exiting her body, along with the absurd amount of coffee she drank.

She dry heaves a couple times, tears streaming down her face, while her head keeps pounding.

Adora feels Bow's large hand rub soothingly up and down her back. After a few minutes, Glimmer says, "Take this." The blonde looks over and see's her purple haired friend handing her a glass of water and a wet towel. Adora smiles weakly in thanks and takes the items, moving so she's sitting with her back flush against the wall. 

She wipes her face slowly and throws the towel into the sink, before taking a big gulp of water. She swishes the water around in her mouth and spits it out in the toilet before flushing it. Internally, Adora is wondering why she's just so... pathetic. 

Most alpha's get territorial sure, that's a given, but in a more aggressive way. Adora, on the other hand, just panics and has a breakdown. She's always been anxious since she was little, and her parents really though she was going to present as an omega. So you can only imagine the shock that they felt when tiny, anxiety ridden Adora, presented as an alpha.

A shitty excuse for an alpha that's for sure. So many good traits that, for some reason, she's never able to use the right way. They just overwhelm her.

"Um," she starts quietly, "Sorry that I yelled at you, Bow. I didn't mean it."

Bow simply sends Adora a sad smile and slides down the wall to sit beside her. "It's fine. You're just hurting is all, we get it."

The three of them stayed in the bathroom for the next hour, sitting in complete silence.

_Adora didn't go back home until Friday. Catra never called._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again darlings! How are you liking chapter two? I changed the original format of this chapter, and I liked how it turned out. I think the way that I originally planned it would have been too rushed. My brain can't handle writing more than 3000 words per chapter, so I'd rather keep 'em on the shorter side, y'know? Leave a comment and a kudos if you liked it, everything is very much appreciated. Love you all <3
> 
> ps
> 
> While you're here, please take some time to check out my close friend's story, linked right here!: [**At Death, Do We Part?**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25604101) (3011 words) by [**spopuhaul**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spopuhaul)  
>  It's a zombie apocalypse she-ra au, and it's right up my alley so I hope you'll like it too :)
> 
> Summary:  
> After Bright Moon is hit with a sudden apocalyptic style breakout, Adora and Catra find their way to each other and must work together to keep their group alive. Apart from zombies, the real problem is Catra just won't stop bringing up their first awkward encounter.


	3. i heard a little love is better than none.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora needs a blanket burrito.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there lovelies, hope you’re all doing well! I had a busy work week this week (it’s currently Thursday, my only day off this week), but managed to pump out this entire chapter today! I hope you like it <3
> 
> Trigger Warning: Mentions of disordered eating habits 
> 
> Song and title: Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart by Harry Styles.
> 
> ———————

Adora's always had expectations placed upon her, high expectations in fact. (Let it be known that these expectations were placed upon her by herself.) She may have been a quiet kid, but that only allowed for her to excel in school and sports.

All of her focus went into her academics, and track and field. She may have not had that many friends, but she made up for it with stellar grades and gold medals. At first, it was natural for her to do so well, but eventually she had to start working for her achievements. With that being said, high school wasn't a good time for Adora.

She began to work herself to the bone, constantly studying, only taking breaks to practice for track meets. While other Alphas were out trying to court omegas, she would be sprinting on the track, or doing extra work in her math textbooks.

Her parents didn't catch on as fast as they probably should have, because at that point, Adora had also become very good at pretending not to be stressed out. The one thing she hated the most was letting her parents down, so she always acted put together, and strong around them so they wouldn't worry.

Despite Adora's best efforts though, her parents noticed a change. During Christmas holidays of Adora's grade 11 year, they realized that all of the clothes Adora had gotten for Christmas didn't fit her. A mistake from the manufacturer? Maybe so, but Adora had worn a size large for the longest time. At this point, she appeared to be a size small, if that.

A long talk proceeded that realization. Adora pleaded with her parents not to worry about her and that she was fine, but they didn't believe her, they couldn't. Not anymore.

What happened was, day by day, Adora would push back eating so she could focus on academics. Food was more of an after thought, a nuisance. At first, she'd skip breakfast to get to the tracks earlier in the morning. Then it was skipping lunch to go over questions with her teachers. Eventually all she would eat would be small things she stole off of her friends during the day, like a granola bar, or crackers and cheese.

The intense dizzy spells and weakness became a new normal for her, and nobody was none the wiser because of how good she had gotten at hiding her feelings. Collapsing after a tough track meet, or spacing out during tests became something that she no longer feared, but expected.

When Glimmer and Bow found out, they were shattered. Their best friend was slipping between the cracks right in front of them, and they didn't even notice. From then on, they promised Adora's parents to keep a close eye on her, and allowed her to lean on them as much as Adora needed.

Yet, Adora still persevered. Or at least she tried her best to do so. After the break, her parents paid very close attention to her eating habits, making sure she was eating enough. They also made sure that Adora was aware that they didn't want her to push herself any more than she had to, and that she had to take more time for herself.

All in all, the whole experience brought her family, Glimmer and Bow’s included, closer together, and showed Adora just how loved she really was. They were a close knit unit from then on.

By the time she enrolled in University, everything seemed to be back on track again. Everything was under control, so Adora had no need to be mindful of what she was eating.

Sadly, another issue came along with Adora's attempt to fix her concerning eating habits.

Her clothes started fitting more snugly again, and she noticed the extra weight she had gained around her stomach and thighs. Her face was more rounded, and the stretch marks on her hips and butt just seemed to taunt her.

She ignored the little voices in her head though, and opted for the ones from her family, who would constantly praise her for being "healthy." When did the word healthy become something that stung?

So many bees, but Adora was no beekeeper.

Adora was never able to pinpoint when her body-image became an issue seeing as she got through the entirety of high school not caring about her looks, but something changed one day. Of course she would still get medals for sporting events and was almost always at the top of her class (making sure she was taking care of herself too), but she couldn't help but notice how much more lean the other girls on the team were.

Adora went from checking out girls because she thought they were attractive, to comparing herself to them, and being disgusted by how she looked in comparison. She began to avoid the locker room entirely, opting to change in the regular bathrooms.

At first, the girls on her team were concerned, and would ask why she wasn’t changing with them anymore, but eventually they stopped asking. Adora was both relieved and disappointed at the realization.

On the one hand, she could pick and squeeze at her skin without anyone else seeing her. She didn’t need to be conscious of how much bigger she was, didn’t have to worry about them staring at her and thinking, “fat.”

On the other hand, did friends really not notice how bad she felt about herself? Or maybe they were glad they didn’t have to see her anymore either, Adora wouldn’t blame them.

From then on, she started trying to eat more healthy, only eating junk food every once in a while. And that's what she's doing currently, actually. The feeling that she got from shedding some of the extra pounds she gained was amazing, but Adora made sure she didn’t lose too much. Just enough.

But sometimes, changes are hard to handle, and well... Adora doesn't fair well with change.

-

Friday is normally Adora's favourite day of the week, but it's not something she's been looking forward to this week. She's tried asking Bow and Glimmer if they could call this Friday off, but to no avail.

Her friends keep telling her that she has to meet Lonnie eventually anyway, which is true, but Adora still doesn’t feel great about it.

Every since Adora went to her friends’ flat, she’s only eaten around them to please them, not having the motivation to do more than that. That seems to be enough for them though, as they’ve grown less concerned about Adora’s eating habits throughout the years.

She makes up excuses like ‘oh I grabbed something on the way to class’ or ‘I had a big lunch, I promise.’ and her friends are none the wiser to her lies.

Adora feels guilty, but it’s just for this week, she’ll stop after today.

Sitting in the back of Glimmer and Bow's shittygrey mustang, Adora thinks about how she could possibly keep herself together when she sees Catra and Lonnie together. She knows she has a jealous streak and has been trying to work on it, but whenever it comes to Catra, she doesn’t know how to tone it down.

On top of that, it’s one thing for her to be civil just as herself, but it's a whole nother rodeo when figuring out how her Alpha is going to react to Lonnie.

Adora doesn't have the best track record when it comes to interactions with alphas that hang around Catra. She doesn't get violent persay, but more passive aggressive and anxious.

The only reason that she's able to be friends with Bow, is because Bow is dating Glimmer. Despite how infectious his positive energy she, Adora genuinely doesn't know if she's be able to stand bow being around Catra all the time.

"Blondie, what are you doing?" Adora looks up and sees Glimmer staring at her in concern from the passenger seat. She’s dressed in a blue unicorn onesie, and her freshly dyed hair is peaking out from the hood. Adora makes note that her hair is a little bit more pink this time around.

"What do you mean?"

"You keep knocking your head on the window. You're gonna give yourself a concussion."

Glancing over to the front mirror, the blonde girl makes eye contact with Bow, who was already looking at her, his eyebrows furrowed. He’s wearing a teddy bear onesie that’s extra fluffy, with a unicorn horn taped onto the hood. It’s no surprise that he wanted to match Glimmer.

She sends a crooked smile his way, and thinks about what her bright haired friend said. It’s only then that she notices that the right side of her forehead aches a little. "Sorry, I'm just nervous."

"You'll be fine Adora, okay? It's just Catra."

That seems to be the issue as of late. Just Catra. Catra can never be ‘just Catra’ to Adora. Everything is much more complicated in her head, partly because she has to navigate around her intense feelings for the shorter girl.

She just wants to be a good friend for Catra, but she keeps messing things up. It’s not the first time Adora’s let her feelings get in the way of their friendship.

She just wants to erase the past week and forget it ever happened. She wants to go back and not react like a... like a fucking toddler. With time to reflect, Adora knows that despite everything, she was also out of line. Catra was just trying to protect her from getting hurt and what does Adora do? Throw a fit.

Adora just groans and rests her head against the window for the remainder of the car ride, listening to the noises of the city, and watching the lights whirr past. She wishes that she had a onesie to wear, but all of her onesies are at the apartment.

Usually her and Catra wear matching outfits but... not this week. A faded high school sweater of Glimmer’s and a pair of Bow’s sweatpants will have to do. She reeks of them, but it makes her feel safe. Wanted.

Maybe not by the person she wants to want her, but she heard that a little love is better than none. For now, she’ll settle for what she can get.

That is, if she manages to get through the night.

  
  


_Kitten💕✨: Lonnie is already here by the way. I hope that you’ll like her..._

_**Seen 7:52 PM** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you enjoyed the chapter! What do we think about a little Adora back story? I know this chapter is mostly in Adora’s head, but I wanted to showcase a little more about how she thinks. 
> 
> Also, much love to @TheNerdiestOfAlys who’s comment made me smile so much that I made the description part of it. 
> 
> Have a nice day guys, see you next Friday! -Angel <3


End file.
